Six Magic Hours

It has been enlightening to read, “The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work,” by John M. Gottman. He shares wonderful insight and powerful knowledge. This week, as I finished the book, I was impressed with the section called, “Afterword: What Now? In this section, he addressed how learning and living the seven principles can really change the marriage relationship. After following up with couples that attended Dr. Gottman’s workshops they found that those couples whose marriages were successful had a common thread. These couples were devoting time each day/week to activities that would draw them closer as a couple and strengthen the bonds of their marriage. Dr. Gottman refers to this as the “Magic Six Hours.”

This includes:

Partings- making sure before we part for the day we are aware of a least one thing on our spouses' schedule. (Being in touch and connected with each other's activities.)   

Reunions-A kiss and a hug that lasts at least six seconds. (I know when my husband comes straight to me for a kiss when he walks in the door, it makes me feel that I am important to him.)

Admiration and Appreciation-Finding a way to communicate gratitude and affection every day toward your spouse. (Appreciating the things our spouse does well instead of dwelling on the little things that annoy us will help us develop more charity in our marriage.)

Affection-Show physical affection towards each other and always embrace before going to sleep. (Affection is a vital key to marriage. Even just holding hands brings a special connection.)

Weekly Date-Relaxing, romantic way to stay connected. (Never stop dating your spouse!)

State of the Union Meeting-Spend an hour once a week to talk about your relationship. Take time to reflect on what is going well, what you can improve on, express gratitude for each other, etc.(This is something I want to implement. It also helps to strengthen our love maps.)

I really appreciated these suggestions. I can see the benefit they could be to improving a marriage. I also want to print and hang this quote from Dr. Gottman on my bathroom mirror to help alleviate the guilt I feel when I don’t make it to the gym.:)

“Remember, working briefly on your marriage every day will do more for your health and longevity than working out at a health club.”

                                                                                  References:

Gottman, J. M., & Silver, N. (2015). The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work : A Practical Guide From the Country’s Foremost Relationship Expert (Vol. [Second edition]). New York: Harmony.